The Jian Tangle

I’m going to take a break from my busy book-peddling ( >_>  <_<) and talk about Jian Ghomeshi.  I was quite amused when my spouse first told me:  “The internet is full of Jian today.”

Initially, when I heard about him being fired, I thought it was odd.  When I read Jian’s post on Facebook, well, I didn’t really know what to think. It’s plausible.  There was the thought: why is the victim going to the media rather than the police?  (Apparently, I forgot in which culture we live.)  Fear is a big reason.  Who is going to believe little female you against big male public broadcaster?  Also, when maybe you agreed to certain things in texts or online, maybe no one will believe you didn’t want other things when you were in the heat of the moment.

I feel an obligation, as a woman, to stand in solidarity with the victims.  Our society is one in which victim-blaming is the norm.  She knew he was into that stuff, and she still went out with him.  She was wearing a short, revealing dress.  She was asking for it.  And when the man you’d be accusing is a public figure?  The wide public reigns down its verdict on you (and him).

On the other hand, it is difficult when you like the accused.

(Story time!)  In high school, my best friend introduced me to the Canadian band Moxy Früvous.  I fell in love (reference intended).  One summer, we traveled to Virginia and Pennsylvania with her mom to see the band perform.  The Pennsylvania performance was in the city of King of Prussia and was held in a gazebo (their gazebo-to-gazebo world tour :)).  I met and befriended many people through love of that band, the mIRC chat groups, and  I met my spouse through the love of that band (and one of their mIRC chat groups).  That band was a big part of the end of my high school years and the start of my university years.  After the band went on hiatus (or “hiatus,” as reference to the indefinite nature of it), I kept up with the band members for a while.  Even now, I know a little of what they’re doing.  Murray (Stage Murray!) is still touring/working with Great Big Sea.  Dave composes for film and television and does other things (I actually had to look up what he’s doing).  Mike and Murray have The Cocksure Lads.  Jian was doing Q.

Of course, whatever happens with this case has little bearing on that golden egg of personal history.  It is sad to see someone who was a big part of a key part of your life fall.  However, if the allegations are true, it is also sad for the victims.

I am refraining from judgment.  I do not know what happened and likely won’t know exactly what happened.  I also think a lot of what we are told about public figures is none of our business.  Public figures have a right to a private life, too.  However, if that private life results in a crime, public safety demands it be made known.

Here are a couple of interesting reads:  poor persecuted pervert? (about BDSM and Jian’s account; I giggled at the comment about what a “mild version of Fifty Shades of Grey” would be) and The Ghomeshi question:  The law and consent (I’m bothered by the lack of protection for consensual BDSM but not surprised).  For those wanting to know what’s up with this consent business anyway, check out Laci Green’s Consent 101.


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