On dealbreakers and the election

The US election has come to pass.  I am heartbroken.  Sad, angry, afraid.  I am not alone.

And there are white people who voted for Trump saying they voted for him because of his policies on the economy, immigration, foreign relations, etc.

Here’s a story.  A true story.  During one of the previous elections, I was considering voting for the Green party candidates.  I agreed with a lot of their proposed policies.  However, I then read that the candidate was Catholic and that affected their stance on abortion (in a way that limited abortion).  For me, a threat to a woman’s bodily autonomy is a dealbreaker.  So I didn’t vote Green party.

The fact that Trump’s racism, misogyny, and other bigoted policies/ideas/beliefs were not dealbreakers for a significant percentage of white people is disturbing.  (I am only speaking to the motivations of white American voters here.  I am a white woman.  I will not speak to the motivations of POC who voted for Trump.)

For too long, white people have insisted that racism no longer exists, or that they don’t see race, just people.  Well, guess what?  I see you.

The world sees you.

And I hope with every last ounce of what Americans are supposed to consider great about America (life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, etc.) that you pick up a big mirror and look.  Look at yourselves.  Hard.

We see you.

In a way, it’s good.  The racism and other bigotries are all out in the open now.  No more couching them in the language of “colour-blindness” or hey-you-can-marry-now-why-are-you-still-complaining.  No more microaggressions and subtle discriminations.

This post is not simply to guilt-trip the white people who voted for Trump.  I recognize that I, as a white woman, must accept some portion of blame, even though I voted for Hillary.

I should have been louder about supporting Hillary and about why I did.  (I have voted for third-party candidates in the past.  This time, however, I saw the clear danger Trump and Pence presented and knew I had to vote for Hillary, because she could win.  The US’s two-party system is flawed and frustrating.  However, there were too many lives at stake this time.)

I should have worked harder at expressing my fears and exposing the ridiculousness of letting a man with zero experience and a ton of arrogance, bigotry, and a lack of caring into the highest office of power in the United States.

Yes, there are some people I never would have convinced.  Some people are like a wall™ you can never get through, or even over, to their hearts.

Now the work of all of us is much harder.  It is coming together to protect those most vulnerable, most in danger from the out-in-the-open racism, homophobia, misogyny, xenophobia, and ableism.  It is being louder than hate.

Yes, a part of me wants to wash my hands of America.  I have that privilege.  I live in Canada.  I can choose not to visit the States so long as Trump is in office.  I can even seek Canadian citizenship.

There is also a part of me that can’t turn my back on the mess.  I have friends and family in the States.  I am too invested in my ideals of equality/equity and freedom.  People will be harmed in Trump’s America.  I will not ignore that.

What will we do now?  Do it now.




Well, I’ve lapsed in my blogging again.  It’s summer.  I’ve also been occupied by personal stresses and the impending US election (yes, I’ve sent in my voter registration).

I did want to do a post, however, to let you all know about two great anthologies published in June in which I am excited to have work.

The first anthology is a Prince tribute published by Yellow Chair Review.  It’s called A Prince Tribute …only wanted one time to see you laughing and can be purchased here. My poem “Now you are gone” found a home there among sexy, sweet, sad, and beautiful poems draped in purple.

The second anthology is called Unrequited:  An Anthology of Love Poems About Inanimate Objects and is edited by Kelly Ann Jacobson.  It can be purchased here or here. My poem “Singer” found good company in this anthology that features poems to food, appliances, backyard decor, nature, and more.

As I am not sure how frequent my blogs will be for the next little while, if you want to keep up with me you can catch me on Twitter.  I post things about writing, politics, food, and personal stuff on there.

Enjoy your July!

What’s going on, March?

Once again, I’ve gotten out of the habit of blogging regularly.  I do tweet regularly, so if you are eager to keep up with me, you can check out my Twitter account here.

This month, I participated in a collaborative novel project through the Collaborative Writing Challenge. Last August, I signed up to write a chapter for the newest project, a fantasy novel titled Wych Born.  I was quite excited at the time, as I was already working on my own fantasy novel and doing a collaborative project sounded interesting.  We the writers got to vote on the starter chapters (and, later, cover art).

In this case, a western-style chapter won, throwing the novel into a fantasy western story.  I admittedly had some apprehension after this, as I am not a fan of most westerns.  The weeks went by.  I lost track of the chapter summaries, as I was more focused on my novel and on my offline life.  Then my turn to write came up earlier this month.

I got caught up on the chapter summaries and notes.  I still was uncertain about this story.  In the end, I decided to take the challenge and wrote the chapter.  The way this challenge works, multiple people write a particular chapter.  The story coordinator then decides which chapter fits the story best or moves it in the right direction.

I decided to view the chapter as a challenge.  Could I write something in a genre in which I have little interest?

The answer is yes.

And, to my surprise and amusement, the story coordinator loved my chapter (with some edits so it flowed better with the rest of the story).  My Chapter 25 will appear in the finished Wytch Born novel.

Take-away from this experience:  challenge yourself to write outside your comfort zone.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

As March is drawing to a close, I’ve been thinking about NaPoWriMo.  For the past three years, I’ve taken part in that daily poetry-writing challenge.  This year, however, I have decided not to take part.  I still have a good deal of work to do on my novel, and I want to focus on it.

I’m sure poems will still sneak into my days, though.



What emotion will you choose today?

Trigger warning:  talk about mental illness, suicide.

There are a couple of memes going around my Facebook timeline presently that assert that happiness is a choice.

The thing is, if you are going to say that happiness is a choice, then you’re allowing that unhappiness is also a choice.

Would a person really choose to be unhappy?  Sometimes, maybe, yes.  Maybe, in the twisted logic of distress, one would choose to be unhappy (perhaps as a way to punish someone else or even oneself).

If it is a matter of choosing our emotions, do we choose to be frightened by loud noises?  Do we choose to be angry when someone taunts us?  Do we choose to be sad when someone we love dies?

If unhappiness and its more serious and sometimes chronic cousin depression are choices, then unhappy people should be able to snap right out of it simply by choosing to be happy, right?

I suspect that anyone who believes that has never been in the jaws of depression.  So deep in the self-hatred and feelings of failure that every move, every decision is a painful one.  So agonized that suicidal ideation becomes a release; death becomes an option (however fleeting), because the dead don’t feel.

The idea that we can choose our emotions also leads to a disturbing phenomenon that’s already too prevalent in our society:  victim-blaming.  Blaming sad people for feeling sad. Ultimately, blaming the mentally ill for being mentally ill.  (People with depression are exceedingly capable of blaming themselves, so we don’t actually need help from society at large on that score.)  I mean, if sadness/depression/anxiety/fear/anger/jealousy/etc. are all choices, we only have ourselves to blame for feeling them, right?

And that is just not helpful.

It is true that we have control over our emotions, at least some of the time.  I’m sure a number of you reading this know all about forcing happiness at work, especially if you have a customer service job.  I know about that.  I also know how emotionally harmful it can be.  Controlling your emotions or forcing yourself to display a particular emotion, however, is not the same as choosing to feel one emotion over another.

Let’s go back to an assumption regarding the memes:  that choice is simple.  (Yes, the memes do not explicitly say the choice is simple.  However, it is implied.)  Not all choices are easy.  Some are gut-wrenching, soul-tearing, difficult decisions. Many range in difficulty levels between those two extremes.  Arguably, choosing to be happy could be simple, excruciatingly difficult, or somewhere in-between depending on the person.

Allowing that choices aren’t all simple, can we really choose our emotions?  Can you really wake up in the morning and say, “I choose to be happy today?”  I think that’s far-fetched.  What you can choose to do is to face the day with a hope that you will feel positive most of the day and a determination to face any challenges that come along.  That is not the same as choosing your emotional state.

As Zero Dean says on this blog post:

“No. Happiness is not a choice. Attitude is a choice.”

This idea is better than the whole happiness-is-a-choice one.  Even with attitude, though, changing your attitude can be as difficult as moving a mountain.  (Remind me of that the next time my kid is acting up, and I say, “Change your attitude.”)

Not everyone can change their attitude and feel better every time, as Therese Borchard discusses in this article:

“That’s what bugs me about ‘happiness is a choice’ philosophies. I think they work on mild and moderate depression, definitely on situational depression. But for some forms of severe depression and treatment-resistant depression or complicated mood disorders — at least for those periods of time when you’re on your knees begging God to take you — my experience has been that any attention to your thoughts only makes it worse.

…The trick is knowing when to apply optimism, cognitive behavioral therapy, and all the brain exercises that can form new neural passageways, and when to turn the brain off and just keep swimming.”

We humans need all our emotions, and it’s okay to feel them.  It is okay to feel sad or mad or glad or silly.  Feeling a wide range of emotions is healthy.

And I get it.  Memes don’t take into account every person, every situation, etc.  They are sound bytes in a world bombarded with messages.  They are images thrown into the vast sea of social media to inspire or to ridicule or to attempt levity in a world that has exploded with seriousness, because we have up-to-the-minute access to the terrors in our world.

I also know that these little bombarding bits of information add to the overriding culture. A drop in a bucket may be only a drop in a bucket.  But many similar drops in the same bucket change the whole amount in the bucket.


Little poem

I wrote this little poem in November.  Enjoy.

They say poetry is dead
out of my head
in my head
long live poetry!

They say Twitter is dead
running out of funds
and fun
full of cliques and trolls
with guns
long live Twitter!

They say Facebook is dread
full of targeted ads
and unwanted opt-out opt-ins
long forgive Facebook!

© 2016 by Robin A. Sams

End of 2015

Well, the December holidays have rushed past.  I thought I would pause to reflect on some of the writing highlights from my year:

NaPoWriMo:  I took part in NaPoWriMo again this year, writing a poem a day for the month of April.  My poems can be read on this blog, starting here.

Cascadia Poetry Festival:  I had the fortune of attending the Cascadia Poetry Festival, which was held in my town this year.  I listened to many new (to me) poets, read some of my own poetry during the Living Room readings, and acquired three new books of poetry.

Channillo:  I tried something different this year in splashing feet-first into the realm of subscription-based, serial literature.  I wrote a series of blackout poetry based on Piers Anthony’s Xanth novel The Color of Her Panties and put it up on Channillo.com.  While the series completed in November, it is still available for reading here.  (You can subscribe to 1-10 series for $4.99 per month.)

NaNoWriMo:  In November, I took part in NaNoWriMo to work on my fantasy novel.  While I did not reach the 50,000-word goal, I did reach 20,693 words and got a good start on the novel.  As the new year approaches, I’m gearing up to get back into novel-writing.

Publications:  This year, I had a total of five poems published in textIsland Writer magazine, and the e-zine Restless.  I also had a book review published in Island Parent magazine, which you can read on my blog here.

Reviews:  Besides the previously mentioned review, I also reviewed the Genderific Coloring Book here on my blog.  Given the popularity of that post, I’m looking forward to posting more reviews in the coming year.

I am also looking forward to working more on my novel and submitting more poetry.  I hope to get more blog posts happening on here, which I realize is an annual hope.

In the meantime, I have Yule-Christmas decorations to take down.  I will be spending the evening with my spouse and child, watching a movie, maybe playing games, and enjoying the toll of midnight with a glass of sparkling apple juice.


November is here. Time to put pencil to paper, fingers to the keyboard. Go!

My poetry series on Channillo will be drawing to a close later this month.  I have four more poems to write and upload to the site.

In the meantime, I am starting NaNoWriMo this month as a way to motivate me to continue work on my novel.  I’d had the idea for the book in my head for several years and started writing notes and several scenes earlier this year.  Then, mid-summer, the writing stopped.

Now I am planning to get back into it and get my story out onto the page.